So it was my birthday today, which was actually pretty boring. I started off fighting with my mother about her driving skills on the ride to school, and I then had an SOL exam for history, for a class I haven't even technically taken, as I was in AP. My teacher posted something online saying that everyone at least passed, so that's nothing to worry about right now. There's a chemistry one tomorrow, but I don't really care enough to study.

Last weekend was quite a bit better though. I went camping for the first time ever at Burke Lake for another friend's birthday, even though it got off to a rough start because it was with these other two girls that I barely knew, and I'm pretty sure that I just gave them the initial impression that I was the snooty, girlie type of girl because of how weirded-out I was by "nature". l=/

Then I came home, showered, passed out, and went to dinner and the movies that evening with a few other friends to celebrate my birthday. We saw Star Trek, which was pretty great, except that none of us had ever seen the original TV series, so the basic premise was kind of lost on us. Then I came home, showered, passed out [seeing a pattern?], and didn't wake up until 6 the next morning, even though I had things I needed to get done that night. I proceeded to watch about 5 hours of America's Best Dance Crew, deciding, and taking comfort in the fact, that I can probably do anything they do. Then I fell asleep again until 4 in the afternoon, which totally screwed up my sleep pattern even more than a weekend normally does. Then I read a good chunk of 1984, which has been on my 'to-read' list for years, ever since I first heard Incubus' "Talk Shows on Mute", for English. It's actually interesting, except that it takes a while to pick up. I just SparkNotesd the entire thing though, so I know how it ends. It's kind of spirit-crushing and I want to avoid it, but at the same time, I still have the need to find out how exactly everything happens.

And I just found out that my dad can get time off work this summer, so we're [sort of] officially going to Europe this year. l=] I think it's only going to be France, Italy, and a tiny bit of Germany though, because it's mostly based on where my mom wants to go, so yeah. l=/ Two more years until I'll be getting to go where I want at least...

Turning 16 also entails the first anniversary of when I set up this journal, so I finally decided to kick my ass into high gear and finish my Lovex fic. I had promised myself [and a couple people online] that I'd have it out last Thursday, but I was pretty exhausted after the AP exam [which really wasn't as bad as I expected, just energy-draining], and never got around to it. Then of course the weekend was insane, so I didn't get started typing it up until last night. This was the one that I mentioned being really proud of and excited for, but I don't know now. It kind of lost its luster when I put it away for a bit. It was originally handwritten, which was a bitch to make sense of, especially because I didn't bother to write the parts in order [or sometimes even on the lines]. I would post a scan, but my laziness tells me that it'd be better not to. l=] I just finished the last transitions that I didn't have written out before and edited it tonight, so voila! [It's not beta'd because I really wanted to post it tonight, so forgive the suckiness.]

Title: Steal Some Covers, Share Some Skin
Rating: NC-17?
Pairing: Theon/ Julian
Disclaimer: I got them as presents. No, they wouldn't go into the box willingly, so they still own each other themselves.
Summery: Drabble #3. 777 words. Sex on a rainy morning.
Warnings: Fluffy PWP. Nothing graphic, more like couples porn or something.

( Set phasers to stun? )

My first AP exam ever is tomorrow and I was so calm just a second ago, but I just went online to check out the PowerPoints I'm supposed to study off of and that just brought on a massive wave of tense nervousness. Like, I'm almost literally buzzing right now. And I'm thinking that I should have studied more or started earlier, but the fact of the matter is that I've read the entire Princeton Review book in the past week and it had gotten to the point where I could no longer focus or really absorb the information, so I just pretty much resolved to stop worrying and just let it happen. I'm a fatalist like that, I suppose. But now I'm panicking. Actually, I have no idea. It's just that weird sinking feeling in the pit of my heart or my stomach or something, you know? And I really should be taking this time to study rather than coming on LJ and rambling about the test, but I had the strongest urge to write just a second ago. So now I'm here, and that okay, because I have to write three essays tomorrow morning anyways, so this is just good practice, right? Wow, that's an extremely lame attempt and rationalizing, isn't it?

And the thing is, I'd be alright with receiving a score of "2", but the bottom quarter of people get a "1", which is the lowest score out of a possible 5. I've actually worked hard this year- read every chapter when I was supposed to and took the required notes- which most other students haven't, so I would just be so pissed off if I got a "1". I feel like that would mean that I've wasted an entire year in the class. People that sleep through lectures and don't ever do the work and live on some farm in the Midwest where they homeschool themselves get "1"'s.

*Breaks down, cries, screams, breathes.* Yeah, thus is life.

Title: Remorse
Rating: PG
Pairing: Theon/ Julian
Disclaimer: I've got $60. Why would you even bother to sue?
Summery: Drabble #2. 1030 words. Whoo! Julian pushes Theon away, ending their relationship. And now he regrets it. Wow, that's a lame summery if there ever was one.
Warnings: Angst. Slight triangle?
Beta'd by Helena at Perfect Imagination

( Does it even matter anymore? )

So I was slightly poked to start writing fics again, which I actually haven't since way back in my fangirl GCFanfics/ MSN Groups days. Yeah, there're two completed drabbles, but I think I'm going to post them in seperate entries though, because they're in differnent fandoms. I'm actually not quite totally happy with them, but it's better than that half-hearted attempt last summer? Been completely ignoring school work the last few nights, but I'd say it was worth it. Actually, there's a third coming up that I love about 10 times as much as these combined, which is already almost done, but needs to be typed up and edited. [That thing kept me up until 4.00 AM last night, but I actually still felt surprisingly good today at school, and that's huge. I don't think I've had a natural high like that in ages.] Now I just need to figure out cuts, post these, do math homework, ignored my math quiz, and then I can go to sleep happy.

[Both were beta'd through Perfect Imagination.]

Title: Cold Without Your Arms
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jyrki 69/ OMC
Disclaimer: I've got $60. Why would you even bother to sue?
Summery: Drabble #1. 838 words. Breakup, makeup, snow
Warnings: Slight angst? Fluff?
Beta'd by Liz at Perfect Imagination

( I want to be in Helsinki. And I want it to snow. )

 

[^And no, that  has nothing to do with anything, it's just the truth.]

I need to write something new soon.

Or study.
Or do homework.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Won't happen, but yeah.
10 weeks of school, 3 SOLs, 1 AP exam, and 7 finals until summer.

My brian brain hurts.

This isn't really a post, I suppose, but Barack Obama has pretty much officially become America's new President-elect. All evening, my eyes have been glued to the TV, watching the news like it's the flipping Super Bowl or something. I'm watching CNN and actually getting teary eyed over the significance of this day, of what it means for this country, this world.

For the first time in a long time, I'm actually feeling the hope.

Originally, I started this blog as a way to document my high school years, starting daily at my 15th birthday. And that worked for a bit. But then my laziness finally got the best of me and I gave it up over the summer and never came back except on the communities.

Summer was honestly a waste of time though. I went to China, and I would have written except that the only way I could access LJ at all was through proxy servers that wouldn't allow me to ever actually sign in. I sat around, Facebooking people and trying to keep up. It was an experience, but probably not one I'd like much to repeat.

School started nearly two weeks ago now, and I had planned to restart this page around then, but my procrastination and jag lag of course took over, as per usual, and I never finished any work before midnight, when I usually get ready for bed in order to be able to drag my ass out of bed at 6.30 am. Sophomore year has given new meaning to "I'm surrounded by idiots" though; my English teacher constantly comes off as a 'power-bitch' of sorts; my chemistry teacher tried to convince our class that 7-3=3 and won't stop say the term 'siggy-figs'; the AP history has this incredibly nasally voice and makes the same terrible jokes repeatedly; I'm sure that my algebra 2 teacher thinks that I'm a complete idiot [and I can't actually remember a thing from algebra 1 either]; the gym teacher seems decent, but doesn't hold a candle to last year's; my photo 1 teacher's an absent-minded hippie-wannabe; and German teacher barely teaches and will kick people out of class for the simplest reasons [but at least I already know enough from listening to German songs to know enough to be a bit ahead]. I feel like I'm already struggling to keep out this year though because if I can barely find the energy to finish the workload I have now, what's it going to be like in spring?

I'm so out of shape though too. Doing a few jumping jacks and push-ups on Monday in gym left me sore, and starting dance in Tuesday and Wednesday [I'm so out of it in both classes anyway] has made it difficult to even walk. How am I supposed to stretch if I'm in so much pain from even extending my leg? And I have cramps too. Bad.

It's the seventh anniversary of the September 11 attacks today too. And in history today, as a warm-up we were invited to share any memories of that day, from when we were in 3rd grade. I didn't bother to share, but it did get me thinking. I was eight years old then, and lived in Arlington, just a couple miles from the Pentagon. I remember that at snack time, around 10.00 am or so, one of my best friends, Deepika, was the first one in our class to be picked up. I remember thinking that it was weird, because she didn't mention having a scheduled appointment during the day. I remember not finding out about what had happened until after lunch, when instead of recess, the principal would take what was left of each class, and give some watered down, child-friendly explanation about "bad people" and tell us not to worry. I remember that my parents decided not to pull me out of school early because I'd made a big deal out of having to leave early on another day, because it took away from the time I'd had to hang out with friends. I remember seeing the footage of the collapses on the news, thinking that it was just some 'cool' action scene, as if out of a movie. I remember having a balcony on the 8th floor of our apartment, facing DC, the Pentagon, and National Airport, and seeing smoke coming from the building for the next couple of days; seeing search nights turned on at night, and how the smoke would transform into these beautiful colors at twilight, purples and greens. I remember that as being one of the few events that entire year that would be worth saving. I remember not having school the next day, and I remember driving towards the suburbs on Friday nights to this Asian market we'd go to and seeing the gaping hole in the side of the building, the charred remains of a historical landmark firsthand. I remember driving from the airport a couple weeks ago and noticed a warning sign, notifying travelers that the country was still on 'orange' alert, then seeing the sculpture by the highway by the Pentagon, 3 prongs, pointing toward the sky from which tragedy fell. I remember, and it's oddly hard to forget. When I think of elementary school, when I think of 2001, that's just about all I can recall, and that honestly scares me a bit; maybe I was affected more due to the exposure I had, but it does at least signal that we're a generation plagued by fear, by death. I can't remember a time when air travel was safe, when you didn't wonder every now and then about that strangely quiet couple sitting on the bench next to you. It's scary, but in a way, it's just the new version of normal.

So school's finally out for the summer for me. It seems so surreal, though. I feel like I should be thinking of starting homework or something [while not actually doing it, as usual]. It's like i don't even remember what an actual break feels like anymore. I've gone back to reading fanfics again, though, so at least there's that to keep me occupied. And I might not have to go back to China this summer after all, if my dad can't get the time off work, so yay.

The English final was a complete crock today, though I think my essay portion was decent. There were these matching questions where you had to identify syntax or something that we went over technically, but was never explained properly, so no one actually understood any of it. The biology exam was super easy, though. I got through 150 questions in less than an hour and ended up just sitting there drawing pictures of butterflies and spiders with Chelsea for for second hour. That's another class that i have the automatic added 10%, so I'm not worried about that either.

It's just the guitar final for me tomorrow, and I'm still not sure I can get it up to speed, so I still have to practice that tonight, and then I'm done with freshman year. I feel like it went by so quickly; in September, I only wanted time to speed up, but now I want to stay. It's like, as soon as the year got good, it ended.

Still really bored... We actually ended up getting formula sheets for the geometry final, so the 20 seconds I spent trying to memorize those were a waste. Then my history presentation went surprisingly well [I got a 100], probably just because the people before me were pretty much first and weren't sure what to do. There's English and biology tomorrow, which I should actually look over [both teachers gave study guides], and then just the guitar piece to play Friday. I'm so used to the feeling of summer already though, that I just want the next days to pass by so I can officially just be lazy all day... l=]

Our karaoke thing in chorus went pretty well, except that there was something wrong with the background track, so we had to start over, yet it still skipped, so we just gave up. It turns out that everyone else in the group thought Libby had left too, and were pretty frustrated that she never actually practiced with us until the end. And the health final was actually chanced to this essay on what we would be most proud of and what we would most regret if we died over the summer. [I think I'm going to post what I remember of that, because that was actually really good for me, I think.]

Tomorrow's my geometry final, which I'm expecting to be pretty ok on, though there are a few formulas I should look over, though I've had a high 'A' a year, [and the automatic extra 10% from getting a 'passed advanced' on the Sol], so it's not even a huge problem to get even a 'C' or so. There's also the history presentation, and I have a general idea of what I'll say, though I've found that if I actually try to plan every word, I end up more nervous when things don't go exactly as planned. I'm not expecting it to go particularly well anyways, because I suck at public speaking, but my visual's pretty great compared to everyone else's [and she's an easy grader too].

Final exams start tomorrow [though I only have chorus and health]. In chorus we're not actually doing anything except for this karaoke group project where we go up and sing random songs for a bit. The group I'm in chose 'Heaven', but this girl in my class, Libby, who I actually met on the first day of school when she was lost, is apparently in our group, even though I swear we kicked her out on the first day of the assignment when we had a group of seven when the limit was originally six as it is. I've worked with her on a couple other things this year, because I also have history class with her, because she seemed like she was smart and a really hard worker at first, though I soon realized that have her ideas end up making the project shitty later and are just pointless anyway because they're nowhere near the scope of the work actually assigned, so I honestly have no idea how tomorrow morning's going work out.

We finally had our Sol pizza party in history today though, so that was pretty nice [and we didn't get anything done in class anyway, though we were supposed to practice the presentations for the final project. Speaking of which, I worked until 1.28 AM on the visual part [that was turned in today], due to my procrastination over the weekend. Gahhh... [And I should probably look over the study guide for health at some point because that is actually a test, though it's Carter, so it'll probably just be common sense-type questions.]

I'm really bored, and there are things I should do, projects that I need to work on, so that I won't have to rush through the history assignment [20% of the final grade for the year] the night before it's due. It's weird though, to think that a week from today, school will actually be out, and I'll officially be halfway through Lake Braddock. Yeah, I've been keeping track.

So the song project actually wasn't that bad. The beginning was a lot better than I thought I'd be, until my hand just started spasming during the last bridge and I skipped ahead because I'd stopped counting. I think everyone that went Tuesday had pretty much perfected their songs and volunteered, and everyone today made more mistakes, though they were less nerve wrecking. The girl that was supposed to go before me, Jessi, is usually a pretty good guitarist, but she did a classical piece and messed up a few times, which actually did wonders to calm me down. And now I have a full week to just focus on working on the final piece.

I know we're just watching a movie in chorus tomorrow, either highlighting notes in the final review or finishing Coach Carter in health, finishing the TOTC movie [for the second time because our class told her that we'd pretty much just started the movie the class after we'd actually watched and finished it the first time], and doing sex ed. and probably watching the "Miracle of Life" video in biology [which I just saw a few weeks ago in health and showed a real birth] or finishing the other video that I slept through, so it should be an easy day. 

 

So there was a tornado in the area today, and the power went down from about 3.30 to 9 tonight. People that were still in school when they announced the tornado warning apparently had to stay there for an extra hour or something to get all the buses worked out, with all the flash flooding and such. Luckily, I actually decided to just walk home while it hadn't started yet, though it was oddly humid out. Dance was canceled, and we ended up having to eat out because our range runs on electricity. There was this other family at the Chinese buffet we went to that all pretty much ran to the window when they heard that it had stated to rain again [the blinds were shut], which was really weird, and they also had some bizarrely poppy Mandopop concert on.

But I finally got the Lovex album I bought on Ebay tonight, and I'm currently loving it. l=] Except I have the guitar project to present tomorrow, which I should practice because although I can play it now, I'll end up freaking out minutes before or something and just panicking...

I think I'm going to switch my guitar project song. Because Roadside goes by too quickly on the recording and I can actually play OUtside, by Staind. Yeah. And I'm almost actually done with all the work I planned to do today, except for the Sparknotes the rest of Tale of Two Cities for the test tomorrow...  

So I'm really bored, my leg is itchy, and I still have my math homework to complete [which I won't actually get done]. The power randomly went out for an hour or so a bit ago, so that was a total waste of time, but at least my chorus project was presented today and the geometry thing is due tomorrow and I've already finished that. 

And we had to dissect fetal pigs in biology today, which was so gross and sad, but at least the assignment itself was hard at all. I'm pretty good friends with the people I partnered with, so they never actually made me touch the pig or anything. It was either that or do some "alternate assignment" from the book. The pig was so cute though... At least all that's left of the year before the final is some sex ed. video on conception and birth that's apparently the same one we watched in health a few weeks ago, which actually made me officially decide that I was never giving birth. Ever.

[And I might be going to Nightwish later this year if I actually remember to ask my parents before they go to sleep tomorrow]

I'm so bored right now. And I have four projects to work on over the weekend, two of which count as final exam grades, that I should make progress on, but I can't actually quite bring myself to do them. Instead, I'm sitting here, reading fanfics on the computer. [And I probably won't have the time/ energy to work on them tomorrow night either. l=/ ]

So I had biology for 2 hours with the testing schedule, where I finished the anatomy worksheet packet by splitting and copying it with this group of people around my desk, then had chorus for the next 2 hours where we did review for the final exam for a bit and were assigned groups for this musical history group project, which we had an hour and a half to do, but our group spent the entire time arguing and getting confused about the assignment, so we ended up with nothing done, even though I actually only have to find a biography of Elvis and focus on that. Then went to biology again and just talked and let people copy off my stuff for an hour, and finally watched this old movie version of Tale of Two Cities for a couple hours and only got yelled at twice during it by the teacher. l=]

And I've also decided that Yu is now officially my new favorite member of Cinema Bizarre. [Sorry, Shin!]